A Girls Secrets
by Smile.Freely
Summary: Alexis needs someone to talk to... Set after season five's episodes Target and Hurt,
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: While I've never been kidnapped I would imagine it's beyond terrorizing and so I think there needed to me more to Alexis' recovery than simply coming home. As always, I own nothing. Please read and review! :] Also...I wrote a fanfic for between the episodes called Shattered, this is the followup, though than can stand alone as well. Enjoy!

Alexis had planned her visit down to the exact moment. She knew her father would leave before the rest of the team and she was determined to miss him on her way up to the fourth floor. The young red head peered around the corner, hoping that her timing was right. She scanned the floor and decided it was safe.

"Alexis, you just missed your Dad. If you hurry…" Kate greeted her as Alexis made her way toward Kate's desk.

"Actually Detective Beckett, I'm here to see you," Alexis interrupted her.

"Oh," was the only response Kate could muster, why had Alexis not just stopped by the loft tonight, Kate was practically living there after all.

"I just…" Alexis glanced over her shoulder toward Esposito and Ryan who were pretending to be busy.

"Follow me," Kate told her, standing and making her way toward the interrogation room. Kate shut the door behind Alexis and went to lean against the table that sat near the center of the room.

"I wanted to talk to you, without my Dad around." Alexis told her, adjusting the tie's to the jacket she was wearing. "It's about what happened in Paris," the young girl concluded obviously uncomfortable.

"Do you want to talk over dinner?" Kate asked, hoping the change of scenery and food would make the conversation less awkward. Castle had told Kate just yesterday that he was worried about Alexis and how she wasn't willing to talk about what happened. Castle knew part of it was because the CIA had demanded they keep it to themselves, but he also knew that he and Alexis discussed everything. If Alexis was willing to open up, Kate wasn't going to turn her down.

"I know you have plans with my Dad…" Alexis started but wanting the opportunity to talk to Beckett, she didn't say no. Alexis watched as Beckett took her phone and dialed a memorized number. Kate quickly told the person on the other end she had to reschedule their dinner plans and that she'd explain when she got there tonight. Alexis couldn't help but smile at Kate as she hung up the phone. "You didn't have to do that," Alexis told the detective sitting before her.

"Eh, it's good to keep him on his toes. Come on, there is an awesome Chinese place around the corner," Beckett told her, placing an arm around the younger girls shoulder and leading her out of the precinct.


	2. Chapter 2

"Detective Beckett, after you got shot did you have nightmares?" Alexis asked, using her chopstick to poke at a piece of chicken.

"You can call me Kate Alexis, everyone else does." She told her with a slight smile. Something Castle had done right was this young girl. She was brilliant, polite, poised, and mature. "But no, I didn't have nightmares. For me, it was PTSD. So I would have flashbacks in the middle of the day. I could be in the street, and have a car horn go off. My head would twist the sounds of the car horn, and without thinking I would react to it like a gun shot," Kate answered honestly. She hadn't had this conversation with anyone, not even Castle. The only person who know the depths of her PTSD was her shrink, and even then it was so much worse than she was able to describe.

"Sometimes, I wake up in the night, and it's like I'm still there. I have to turn on the light and wait until I stop shaking before I can even move." Alexis whispered, her voice dropping with emotion.

"What you went through Alexis was very traumatizing, it's expected that you relive what happened for a while," Kate told her. As bad as the response was, she knew that she had to be honest with Alexis if they were going to continue the conversation.

Instead of answering Alexis chewed for a while.

"How long has it been since you got shot?" Alexis asked her after a while.

"Just under two years I guess," Kate told her thoughtfully.

"I know it's not the same, but I didn't know who else would know what it felt like to be so scared, and to relive every second." Alexis said, ignoring Kate's answer.

"You're right it's not the same, I was out for most of Alexis. But I do remember every second. I remember the feeling of the bullet at the same second your dad's shoulder hit my stomach. I remember my head hitting the ground. I remember everyone yelling and I can still hear my Dad's voice yelling 'Katie'. I will never forget your dad's eyes. His eyes told me what I already knew. I was going to die. I remember the pleading in his voice, begging me to stay with him. And I remember him telling me that he loves me. I remember thinking I should answer him, and that feeling that I couldn't. For me Alexis every second is clear like a terrible movie in slow motion. There is nothing I've forgotten, and I probably never will." Alexis stared at her, her mouth agape. "What I do know is this, that if you talk about it, if you face it. It becomes something you can live with."

"I'm not allowed to talk about it, the CIA said we couldn't," Alexis told her.

"That's true, but you can talk about it with your dad." She told her.

"My dad worries to much Kate," Alexis sighed. "I cry and he freaks out."

"You can talk about it with me," Kate told her.

"What about the CIA?" Alexis asked confused.

"Your dad and I have talked about it. He told me everything, about his father, the money, the bomb. Everything. He trusts me with this, and if you do too, I'm happy to listen."

"I didn't know that," Alexis whispered.

"Everyone needs someone to listen Alexis. The CIA doesn't want your father writing a tell all book, and you talking to a teen magazine. But find one person you trust beyond a shadow of a doubt and tell them everything," Kate told her. "It's the only way that you're going to be okay."


	3. Chapter 3

"I tried to be strong for Sara, but I was so scared Kate," Alexis blurted out, after a minute. Kate remained silent and waited for the young girl to continue. "It's just that I've never been scared like that. I was always worried about something happening to my dad, but I've never been in any kind of danger. After all I grew up in NYC."

"If we expected danger Alexis, we'd never live. I would never chase a suspect, arrest a ring leader, or draw my gun," Kate told her.

"What if it happens again? These guys could figure out who my Grandfather was, someone else can too," Alexis told her in a rush, the thought obviously bothering her for a while.

"They might sweetie," Kate confirmed, her voice soft and honest. "The difference is that you have the entire NYPD willing to turn the earth upside down if necessary. Not to mention a father who flew across the world, hired a killer, drained his bank account, and broke into their hide out just to get you back." Alexis just watched her for a while. "Alexis your Dad would give up his life for you if it meant you'd be safe," Kate told her gently, reaching across the table to place her hand on top of Alexis'.

"I know, it's just that there is no guarantee it won't happen again, and I'm still so scared, every time a cab stops in front of me, every time I hear someone yell. Every time my dad comes home early from the precinct and I don't expect to hear foot steps," She listed, tears sliding down her face. Kate's heart broke for the girl.

"You're right Alexis, there is no guarantee it won't. But," Kate stopped until Alexis was looking into her eyes. "But, there is no guarantee it will happen again. Just like I can't guarantee I won't get shot again. But for me living is more important than being afraid." Alexis wiped at her eyes as Kate spoke.

"I guess I can't stay inside and hide from everyone and everything can I?" Alexis teased.

"You could try it, but your Dad might drive you crazy," Kate told her giving her that 100 watt smile.

"Are you going to tell my Dad we talked?" Alexis asked, realizing that it was getting late.

"Yes, but I am not going to tell him everything. I won't keep secrets from him," Kate told her honestly, as she laid cash on the table and stood up. Alexis mimicked her actions and stood with her.

"I can live with that," Alexis told her smiling. "Thank you Kate, I didn't know who else to talk to." Alexis told her as they embraced.

"Anytime Alexis," Kate responded letting her go. "Lets get you a cab back to school, and I have to get back to your father before he thinks I'm cheating on him," Kate winked, and wrapped a loving arm around the girl as they walked toward the street.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: Thanks for reading! This is the conclusion of the story, and probably my favorite part. PLEASE leave reviews, I need all the help I can get!

"Case run late?" Castle asked when Kate finally walked into the loft.

"No, I had dinner with a friend actually," Kate told him honestly. Castle stopped pouring the wine in his hand to look at her.

"Wait, you canceled dinner with me for someone else?" Castle asked, his wounded pride speaking.

"Yes," Kate told him, holding his gaze with her own. Why not tease him a little?

"Okay," Castle mumbled, looking back down at the wine glass, and moving to the cupboard to grab a second one.

"Don't act so hurt Castle, it wasn't a date," she told him, her eyes dancing.

"It was with a guy?! Kate!" Castle panicked, his jealousy overflowing.

"No Castle, I went to dinner with Alexis." Kate told him walking around the counter to take her wine glass from him and place a kiss on his cheek.

"My Alexis?!" Castle asked, still standing with a death grip on the bottle. "I don't know if that's better or worse," he mumbled, still standing frozen in the kitchen.

"Yes, your Alexis. Relax Castle, it was just Chinese food. She stopped by the precinct and wanted to talk." Kate moved away from him and sat on the couch, leaning back she flipped her long hair over the back of the couch, enjoying torturing him and yet being aware that she'd have to make it up to him.

"What did you talk about?" Castle prodded moving to follow her, leaving his glass behind.

"She wanted to talk about the kidnapping and my PTSD," Kate told him honestly. She looked up and watched him carefully.

"What did she say?" Castle asked coming to sit behind him.

"I can't tell you. Not because I don't want to, but because I want Alexis to be able to come to me when she needs to, and she won't if she can't trust me. What I can tell you is that she is going to be just fine. She is coping and she's ready to get back to normal."

"Why am I both frustrated and thrilled at the same time?" Castle asked eyeing the beautiful woman sitting on his couch.

"Because you're glad your girlfriend and your daughter are getting along, but you're a child who wants to know everything about everything," Beckett teased him.

"She's going to be okay?" Castle asked flopping back into the couch.

"Eventually, she needs time." Beckett leaned forward and sat her glace down before shifting so she was straddling his lap. "My advice to her was that if we all live in fear, we will never actually live."

"What are you afraid of Kate?" Castle asked watching her, they had never had the discussion about her PTST, but that was years ago.

"For a while, I was afraid that you and I would end up like all of your other relationships," She told him honestly. Castle's eyes widened as he realized she was sharing one of her darkest secrets. "But I also know, that if I constantly fear us breaking up, our relationship will go nowhere. So I've decided to believe your relationships, and marriages ended for a reason. And that reason is us," she confessed dipping forward and bringing their lips together.

"You are incredible Katherine Beckett," he whispered, his hands settling on her hips, his thumbs tracing skin over her silk blouse.

"Prove it," she teased, bringing her tongue to her teeth and smiling at him. Castle couldn't help but smile back at her. With ease he stood, her legs wrapping around his waist, and giggling like a small child. Castle's mouth covered hers as he moved them toward his bedroom. With a fleeting thought, Kate wondered how much whine they've wasted in last few months.


End file.
